Heather Nowzick is Andre's sister, played by Sarah Silverman. In high school, all the League (with the exception of Ruxin and Andre) had sex with her. They learned a variety of sexual tricks from her, regardless of how old they were: "Taco was a clueless 11. A very learned 12."

Eventually after high school, she became overweight, about 300 pounds, but got the Lap-band in Season 3, slimming her figure.

After showing up at Thanksgiving at the MacArthur household in the episode Thanksgiving, she tried to seduce Pete, had sex with Taco (before the dinner, to get sexual tension out of the way), asked Jenny how the moves taught to Kevin were working out, and had sex with Ruxin's dad Rupert in the bathroom (which Pete, Taco, Andre, and Ruxin all saw, to their disgust).


  • Trademark move seems to be an oral sex thing named "the Church", which goes in her words as "This is the church, this is the steeple, open the doors and eat all the people."
  • Eternally cheery.


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