See? I told you babe.
You go out to dinner, you get drunk, you come home, you have sloppy unprotected sex, and look.
You become best friends with the Cutlers.
It all works out. I told you.

Kevin is the league commissioner for most of the show, excluding the year after 'The Reign of Ruxin' in 2011, as well as Pete's best friend. Because he has difficulty competing in the league on his own, he often takes football knowledge from his wife, Jenny. He works as an Assistant District Attorney.


At the beginning of the series, Kevin had never won the Shiva, an award given to the league winners (named after Shivakamini Somakandarkram: a high school classmate to whom Kevin lost his virginity - making him Eskimo Brothers with Andre). Kevin wins in the finale of Season 3, however it was declared null by Ruxin due to collusion and lies, until Kevin agreed to give Ruxin the role of commissioner and to let him have naming rights to his newborn. Kevin has been highnotized (hypnotized under the influence of marijuana) by his brother Taco. His best friend Pete and his wife Jenny have also similarly programmed him using dog training techniques. Kevin has a young daughter named Ellie, (aged 5, as of the start of the show) whose foul mouth comes from her parents, and a son whom Taco names Chalupa Batman MacArthur, born on the first episode of Season 4; in the next episode, he is renamed Christopher Benjamin.

The first two seasons he has been to the semi-finals but lost both times to his best friend Pete, and Ruxin. He won it in 2011, but lost his role as commissioner due to him changing the draft order. He also won the Sacko in 2013 and was in it the next year but avoided it thanks to some help from Ghost Ted.


Personality & Traits

Skills & Abilities



Friends & Enemies

  • Kevin & Pete - Kevin and Pete are best friends, so close that Pete is referred to as Kevin's "second wife" by Ruxin, constantly. Kevin tends to be the more emotional one.


  • Kevin & Shivakamini Somakandarkram - Kevin lost his virginity to Shiva in Pete's Mother’s car. As he finished he yelled her name, making his first vinegar strokes the very first 'Shiva Blast'

Physical Appearance


v - e - d


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